One detractor from there being a Tori Amos "greatest hits" is that no one will agree with the songs that appear on it. Since her actual 'hits' are few, yet her music beloved, a best-of is hardly a bad move. But what of the content? Strictly singles? Fan favourites?

If you choose fan favourites, you're likely still in trouble. Since 1991's Little Earthquakes, Tori Amos' fanbase has been a phenominally devout crew who agrees that while she's only had a few mainstream successes, some of her best material lies in-between those landmarks.

When Amos left Atlantic Records following the concept covers album Strange Little Girls, a retrospective was due. When she joined her newfound label Epic, her Atlantic material -- including the rare but always worth mentioning 80s band Y Kant Tori Read, who Tori fronted in 1988 --became open for a whorish done-by-the-numbers best-of mix with little soul, and likely no Amos involvement.

Luckily, that's not the case. Tales of a Librarian was completely tracked by Tori herself, and features two unexpected b-sides newly re-recorded, as well as two songs that have never been available on CD: the brand-new "Angels," and "Snow Cherries from France," which was written for 1998's from the choirgirl hotel, but held onto til now. Also, with few exceptions, the disc has been remastered with new backing vocals, different instrumentations, and a crisper sound than 1991 could present.
The changes to the songs are often welcome additions, and a few are actually prefferable. "God," from 1994's Under the Pink disc has never sounded more exotic, with it's vocals clearer, and it's music refreshed. It's album-mate, "Cornflake Girl" gets different background vocals and a restyled orchestration. Sometimes the changes are less severe; 1999's "Bliss" gets some additional wind-tossed sounds and brief echo effects. In the case of that, some changes are better left undone, but for the most part it's effective.

"Precious Things," a Tori Amos staple in concert, is as gorgeous as ever, it's bitter vocals over a earthy, tragic backdrop that sounds like it's coming out of the depths of, in this case, a former grade school outcast's innermost thoughts. Or hell.

He said you’re really an ugly girl,
but I like the way you play, and I died.
But I thanked him - can you believe that?
Sick; holding on to his picture, dressing up every day
I wanna smash the faces
of those beautiful boys - those Christian boys.
So you can make me cum; that doesn’t make you Jesus.

- Tori Amos, "Precious Things."

In the outward spite and venom that 1991's "Precious Things" presents, the new song that follows, 2003's "Angels," seems almost quaint.

Next to divine classics such as "Silent All These Years," and "Jackie's Strength," how could the new material even attempt to hold candles in this windy atmosphere? "Snow Cherries from France," the album's closing number, doesn't even flicker. Dreamily looking into the future, while giving a wry smile to the past, it decides to float the raging waters instead of thrashing against them. "Angels," which is supposedly about politics and sounds a lot like Strange Little Girls, is less impressive. Abstract, as Tori's lyrics tend to be, this is neither curious enough to give wild interpretations to, nor straight-forward enough to make us care. Among the other songs, it seems suffocated; perhaps it would've worked better on another album, since it's not a bad song; it's just there.

"Mary," the once funky b-side from 1991, has been reduced to middle-of-the-road drum thumps. There's no defining moment in it, while the original posed a triumph of some sort. On this disc, it's less about the beating of the odds, and more about the odds themselves. While the piano is lovely, it trudges. No Tori song should ever trudge. Also an early b-side, "Sweet Dreams" is revived needlessly. The clumsy arrangement once again takes all the head-bobbing-ness away from the original. Since "Sweet Dreams" was already a fairly bizarre song to bring to the present, it just seems aimless.

Other strange steps include removing instrumentation that was really a center-point of "Jackie's Strength." While "Spark" features the hidden vocals more prominently than the 1998 album version, it has a weird fade at the end which destroys a once awesome effect.
Most puzzling is the inclusion of the awkward dance mix of "Professional Widow," from the hideous Armand Van Helden mixes of 1997. Since the club hit was so disarming to begin with, it being on this disc doesn't just interuppt the flow, it spins it out of control. With effects that are equivalent to audio ribbon shredding, it's one of the most incongruous moments ever in Tori's career, and we're not forgetting the "huge, bleeding vagina" imagery she referenced in her cover of Slayer's "Raining Blood."

And now here's the part in our show where we say, "Hey, Tori, where is the hell is _______?" And it's true, Tori skips over some fantastic material, like songs she herself claims are among her favourites: "Honey" and "Cooling," both b-sides that have long-deserved albums to live on. She claims that their original multi recordings were damaged; all the more reason to re-record them. But, alas, even "Caught a Lite Sneeze," "hey Jupiter," and "Talula" - all from 1997's Boys for Pele and each legit singles - were all passed on, in favour of a slightly extended "Way Down" and the admittedly quite wonderful "Mr. Zebra," the only two Pele tracks on Librarian, and both less than three minutes long.

"Honey" and Pele's "Putting the Damage On" have homes on the accompanying DVD, which features live soundcheck video footage, and two audio tracks that play over photo collages. The soundcheck's "Pretty Good Year" (also absent on the studio disc) is fantastic, as is the live "Northern Lad," which has never sounded better. The lackluster "Honey" is disappointing. The additional audio track is a reworking of "Putting the Damage On," which is quite beautiful, as well.
You will never be able to please everyone, as every song in the Tori catalogue has rabid fans claiming that it's her best ever. What's strange is that so much was omitted and some chances were avoided. The DVD itself seems like something of an after-thought; two audio discs would've been appropriate, and that would have allowed for other songs to be rightfully included. Strange Little Girls is completely ignored, as is Y Kant Tori Read (and the album could have benefitted from a solo piano revisioning of "Etienne," but perhaps that's overreaching.) The most obvious are there, however: the brilliant "Silent All These Years," the chilling "Me and a Gun;" and even some genuinely pleasant surprises pop up as well: "Baker Baker" is excellent, "Tear in Your Hand" is better than ever.

While it's a little hard to follow, Amos' Tales are thoughtful, for the most part insightful, and as always surprising. The true drawback of this disc is that Amos has said that she's taking some time off and that this is our interlude between her last and next albums. We await, library books in hand, for the next time she adds to her - and our - collections.
Tales of a Librarian (Atlantic)
Produced by Tori Amos.
CD: Precious Things; Angels; Silent All These Years; Cornflake Girl; Mary; God; Winter; Spark; Way Down; Professional Widow (Armand Van Helden Radio Edit); Mr. Zebra; Crucify; Me and A Gun; Bliss; Playboy Mommy; Baker Baker; Tear in Your Hand; Sweet Dreams; Jackie's Strength; Snow Cherries From France.
DVD: Pretty Good Year (Video); Honey (Video); Northern Lad (Video); Putting the Damage On (Audio); Mr. Zebra (Audio).
Review written by George Blair IV, January 19, 2004.
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